Shell Within Shell.

reyliaslaby
I AM PAPER SERIES ©Reylia Slaby 2016

 

 

Today I was again caught in a whirlwind. A cruel, blustery tempest. These past few days have been full of me chasing after myself, but then running away from it as well. I fidget all day, carrying this anxious feeling within my chest, that threatens to choke me. It seems to say: When is it good enough? “It” being the art I produce, or rather, myself. I spend so much time fixated on it’s perfection in my mind, rather than production of the physical art itself. I am aware of this in myself, and it leaves me in even more suffering and guilt, stuck within a vicious circle. I tell myself that perhaps this is growth, but I find myself trapped within shell within shell, like a matryoshka doll.

Even as I type, I am fearful. Will even this be good enough? Where have I developed this abnormal fear of imperfection from? Perhaps it was something that naturally permeated and stained my being after being birthed and bred in the Japanese culture? A slow trickle of poison. Undetectable in small doses. Could that be the culprit?

Because when I was younger, I remember not fearing anything. I remember what it felt to be inspired by a piece of work rather than intimidated of or jealous of it.

Can I reclaim that sense of self? Hopefully I can find it again this year.

Always,

r.

http://www.reyliaslaby.com

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Sofina (And mini update)

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H
ey you awesome people! How has your week been going? Any adventures? 🙂

Wanted to share an old photo I took of my beautiful friend Sofina, with a re-edit, and wanted to give a little update on my week, and my upcoming trip to the States! I haven’t been this excited in a while. Just the idea of traveling has me dancing around the room.

I haven’t left Japan in about 2 years, so a trip has been long over-due. So far the plan is to travel to L.A and San Francisco, but so far a lot of the plans are up in the air. I’m just looking forward to whatever comes my way along this trip 🙂

Have a great coming Wednesday!

Always,

Reylia

Self portrait

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As I was out shopping for photo-shoot props, the wind started to pick up and I decided to try for a self portrait. I like that the scar that starts from under my nose is visible.

This picture was taken in the evening with a (heavy) Nikon D7100, so it was a bit difficult trying to balance it. I’m sure that the few bystanders were a bit amused at this.

Hope everyone is well 🙂

Always,
Reylia