Photography: Reylia Slaby
Model: Hikaru @ Trouver Models Osaka
Hair/Make-up: Yui Hirosawa
the box, the box.
who opened you?
not I, said the heart.
nor I, cried the mind.
for the keeper of the key
had long since died.
the box, the box.
where feelings are stored.
who opened you?
you had vowed,
that you would never be
I’m feeling something new tonight. Disappointment never felt this sweet before. I realized that the more I embrace this feeling, the more it fades. It’s unfortunate that the same applies to people.
Self Portraits&poem by Reylia Slaby
When I was a little girl, I loved to spend time staring at my own reflection. I remember that I did this quite often until around the age of twelve. Twelve was when I developed a nasty disease called insecurity, and looking at myself began to produce negative feelings. Prior to that, I was fascinated with looking at myself, and I did it often. I have old pictures that my parents took of myself staring in the mirror. I believe it was separate from any narcissism. All the feelings I remember having was just a simple curiosity and wonder of the body I was living in. I even remember inviting a friend to stare with me once, but he didn’t understand why I found looking into a mirror of any interest. I especially loved staring into my reflection from a car window during a nighttime drive. My face would be layered with the stars, the moon, and the sky, and I felt that in this way I was part of them. I believed that my dim reflection was not only the little me then, but me in the future. At eight years old I believed I knew what I looked like at twenty. I read it in the subtle lines of my face. I felt it as I studied myself breathe. I saw hints of my future in the depths of my eyes.
I’ve gotten a bit older, and at 22 I’ve found that this little habit has made it’s way back in my life a bit. A lot of insecurities regarding my physical appearance have been washed away, and now I find myself fascinated again with looking.
Today’s portrait with Kamiyu. It was the warmest day of the year, and I was feeling incredible. Summer, I am waiting for you!
This was taken near where I live. I don’t usually wander too far from home for shoots, although soon I will be heading somewhere totally new within the next couple of weeks,(Hopefully!) ! So very excited to get out, and to share my adventure.
A portrait I did a week back, or so.
In the morning of the shoot, I decided to paint my own background. I had earlier purchased a black cotton backdrop for photo-shoots, but each time I attempted in using it, it has just been a hassle to work with. Since messing around with cloth has been frustrating, I wanted to buy something sturdy (Like plywood) and paint it. Both my sister Johnna and I needed to go to the Home Depot, but neither of us can drive, and we both had heavy purchases in mind. While scanning the shelves at the store, I knew we both couldn’t carry what we wanted back to our home. After thinking about it a little, I remembered that in our house, there was a door that was sitting in storage, and no one knew where it had come from. I decided to buy some paint, and to use the door as the canvas. So after a bit of paint splatters and toxic inhalation, it turned out to be a lovely background. I imagine I will be doing it this way again.