Our Strangeness

Photo Copyright© Reylia Slaby Photography and may not be used without written permission

It is important to fully explore the unique, unusual, and strangeness of ourselves. To marvel at our abilities to be odd. There are so many of us who feel out of place and awkward, if not all of us, and it takes us years to finally settle into ourselves.

I say to you, dear artist (aka everyone), be that part of yourself. Don’t push it away, but give it the spotlight. Figure out more ways you are weird, and then let it bleed into what you create and how you design your life.

I am 25, and I am continuously stripping away the layers of my anxiety that insists on a steady regrowth of insecurity and lack of confidence. I feel my limbs shake, and give way to awkward pauses in my speech. When I would stand in front of people, be it during a seminar or just momentarily at a party, once my stream of words was interrupted, it was guaranteed that I would be tripping consistently throughout the rest of the talk. Kind of like the runner at the Olympics that after one hurdle just kept fumbling over each one after that. Basically, everyone was glad they weren’t him. But I was him, in my daily life.

Now though, I find I smile more at those trip ups. I find more I am comfortable with where I lack. I recognize them, and see more clearly where I should try to fill. I feel aware of myself, who I am, and make more decisions based on what I am comfortable with.

I do things that match my strangeness. Match it today, tomorrow, and every day forever.







Day 24 | Skin


Image Copyright © Reylia Slaby

Today has been a bit more unusual for me. I have been out and about in Osaka, taking care of errands, meeting with a make-up artist I often work with, and also gathering a few things for shoots. While the things I have done are brimming with banality, what changed the pace of it was just that: My pace. I’ve had a bit of a running injury, in that I’d worked the muscles of my calves so fiercely that now I am unable to walk, but instead now am forced to shuffle. My annoyance was that I was unaware of how badly I had pushed my legs. I had only gone running for an hour, and was at my usual pace and route, so it was surprising to me how badly my legs hurt the following day, and even worse today. Alex thought that I might have been exaggerating my walk, but I am sincerely immobile. A walk that once was ten minutes is now thirty.

While I hope that tomorrow is better, I must say that part of me has found this outing to town in this state almost refreshing. There wasn’t for a moment that I had a chance to rush along with the crowd, but instead had to carefully navigate my feet up stairs and through the twists and turns of city roads. I had time to read posters, and to look at people. I felt myself think, instead of having my thoughts brushed away with the breeze of my pace. I never thought that something like this could be pleasant, but in all if it’s irony, it is. Maybe the secret to happiness is slowing down after all, allowing enough time to feel and absorb all that is happening around you.